Adjusting

So I have been a stay at home mom for 10 years and I gotta say it's a pretty cush gig. I mean, Ya you trade adult conversation for the constant company of the toddler set, and that can be hard because they are needy and unpredictable and exhausting at times, but you never have to miss ANYTHING. First words, first steps, first lost tooth, whatever, you're there. Field trip, sign me up! School party, I'm there. I am constantly involved, constantly present. I never have to choose between my kids and my career. My hat goes off to mothers who hold down full time jobs, or even part time jobs. Deciding who is good enough to keep your kids while your away is gut wrenching. Telling your daughter you can't make it to her school play is heart breaking. And trying to fit it all in and find balance between work, home, mothering and wife-ing, and then trying to squeeze in a little time to take care of yourself is, well, impossible. I recently started working part time a few days a week and already my orderly-ish home is falling apart at the seams. My kids are more whiny and needy, my house is a mess and I've rescheduled piano lessons and shopping dates too many times. I'm looking for balance, and it's getting better but we're in an adjustment period. But one thing I have noticed, when I'm home with my kids I'm more patient, more attentive. I want my condensed time to be high quality. Maybe that's my silver lining.